Change starts with you and not others

For a long time I held on the misbelief that there were some people in my life that needed to change before I was going to be able to deal with them. I felt their behavior towards me was intolerable and it was within my righteous indignation to NOT deal with them any longer. I became a PRO at cutting people out of my life. I felt to vulnerable to being hurt because of wounds still untreated from earlier times in my life. Even after I received healing from Jesus for my emotional wounds I still felt the need to protect myself. In order to protect myself first of all I had to stay a little guarded and NOT let people all the way in my heart. I realized it was too much to let people know how much I loved and cared for them. It was especially in terms of male relationships that I hid my feelings. A lot of the times I went out of my way to out right lie about what I felt about the person. There was no openness, no honesty and no vulnerability from me . And as the scriptures goes in Galatians 6:7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. So in return I didn't receive in those same relationships any openness, honesty and vulnerability from them. So then instead of paying attention to the plank in my own eye I was always trying to get the speck of sawdust out of someone else's eye. It use to boggle my mind why I would always meet the guys that needed to be taken care of. And then the Lord said to me it was a tactic from the enemy to keep me distracted from the work that needed to be done in my own life. Maybe I am alone in this but I was so frustrated at why people just couldn't love me the way I felt I wanted - no needed -to be loved. It was not until a few years ago that I realized that I didn't even love myself and worse than that was the TRUTH that I didn't really get it that God loved me. We take in the fact that God loves us with HEAD knowledge but when you receive it with HEART knowledge then things start to change in your life. Most of all you start to change. You start to see YOURSELF the way God sees you. You realize how much you are worth because of the price that Jesus Christ paid for you to live free and abundantly. You realize the truth that you are not forsaken and forgotten. God was right there with you all the time and every thing in your life that was meant for evil, He has promised it will be use for your good. When you see take time and read the word of God then it becomes personal and real to you How much You are Loved. Then you are able to stop FIGHTING against people and start praying for people. What was impossible with you becomes possible with God. When people don't treat us the way we want or even the way we deserve it is written 1 Peter 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins. In Jesus Name Be Blessed, Manie